How to escape a controlling S.O.?

[Lydia]

Hi
My name is Lydia, I am a middle aged trans female living in UK. My partner insists that I keep my trans gender issues a secret, I am to dress inline with my birth gender and maintain the Closet that I built as small child and she joined me in later.

I need to escape from our home and make a new home for myself. That would be easy to do had I not lost my job after medical emergency last year that left me disabled and my only income is my disability benefit and I have long since spent my savings and my medical condition gives me a sense of urgency that this needs to be done NOW or it will never happen, I suspect that my partner thinks that if she can keep me in a box long enough, her problems will solve themselves.

Can anyone give me advice on how to get a new home using the benefit system to help with getting started, I would rather not have to be homeless just to have the freedom to be me

[Christine]

I have to start by saying that I'm afraid I don't know: but I didn't want this to simply remain unanswered, as just knowing that somebody out there has heard you can still make a difference.

Whatever presents itself to you, I do wish you the best of luck. Nobody should have such a strongly negative and selfish influence over another person's life to the point where they're so totally stifling the real you: she gets to decide what she does, but expecting you to spend your life pretending to be someone you're not is clearly crossing the line.

I do apologise for being of little practical help, but I wanted to say that I do wish you the best in your endeavours, and if she is beyond reason, that you manage to escape this sad situation.

[JustMe]

Hi Lydia,

Well, I'm with Christine on that and I do empathise with you. I'm afraid that we aren't experts on Benefits or Housing. BUT, bearing that in mind - my suggestion would be to make enquiries through your Citizen's Advice Bureau. They should be able to point you in the right direction regarding Housing and Benefits and especially if you are disabled too.

I hope that helps a little Lydia (I know it's not much).

Kerry x.

[hxlady]

If things are unbearable then do what I did which was cash in my small pension.
I had a couple of years on the bread line but eventually got plenty of help from council.