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Is my girlfriend an ftm chaser? please help me

Posted: Wed Aug 26, 2020 10:33 pm
by Alek Zosortor
Hello everyone my name is Alek! I need some help, hope you can give me some pieces of advice.
I met my girlfriend 2 years ago at a pride parade. She is my first real girlfriend and also gave me my first kiss. I feel really good with her right now and I’m sure she loves me as much as I love her.
But…
I’ve recently started thinking that many of her behaviours towards me aren’t really healthy and “normal”.
Since the first time we met she looked pretty interested in me; she asked me many questions about my identity, my sexuality, my coming out and stuff like that. And that didn’t seem too creepy at the starting point, even because we met at a pride parade and we are both LGBT so I guessed it was kinda ok to talk about those topics if u meet in certain environments.
During our first official date she asked me a lot more about my “transness”, she seemed very amazed and curious… maybe too much.
She asked me about my embarrassing experiences being ftm; which toilet did I use; what transition path I wanted to take; ecc. Ecc.
I don’t want to be cruel with her, I mean, she always asked me if I was comfortable talking about these things and always respected my boundaries.
The point is that I’ve always felt a little bit like she liked me just because I was trans, or like she talked to me the first day just because of the trans flag in my cheek (maybe just paranoia and lack of self esteem ??)
Another thing she always did, and still does, that really makes me mad and makes me wonder about her “chaser behaviours” is that: pretty often she outs me, breaking my stealth-ness. Even when there’s no reason to do so.
She has always wanted to make the world know I’m trans, and that really makes me feel like a circus animal. I understand that in some places and situations you can say something that makes the other understand I’m trans, and that feels normal. But outing me in every situation, and “bragging” about it????;
Instagram stories, dinner with friends, new random people, always outing me and talking about me being trans…
Another thing that really makes me wonder is that when I asked her some questions, she told me that after her breakup with her last boyfriend, she was looking for a trans guy, and she wanted a relationship with a girl or a ftm guy (she is pansexual).
I don’t know maybe those are just stupid anxieties of mine.
Hope you can give me some advices, do you think my girlfriend is a trans chaser? What should I do about it?

Re: Is my girlfriend an ftm chaser? please help me

Posted: Sat May 08, 2021 7:01 pm
by Richardmaybe
Ok that is a lot to take on!

My partner is mtf trans- I would absolutely never out her ever!

My friends know largely cause she’s had a drink and said too much but no one else does and I leave it that way that’s her news

I’ve never thought or referred to her as “my trans Gf” just my girlfriend

I honestly forget sometimes (she is not post op either)

I agree a bit strange in her behaviour sorry but I do

Try and have an honest conversation with her and see if it’s at best a happy coinicodence
At worst a kink she was specifically going for and you ticked the box

Hopefully it’s the first option but anything between the first and worst sleep on it and think how you really feel about it

I would hate being outed- literally defeats the purpose of transitioning