HRT...should I kep going?

[TommyPickles]

So tomorrow will be my one year mark on T and I’m considering going off it. I’m the only trans person I know in a town full of “well intentioned” cis so I need some advice I can’t get irl.

Should I keep going?

There were lots of promises made about what T would do for me that I just haven’t seen in my body. Don’t get me wrong, the “growth” and no more periods has been great! But right now, it feels like there’s way more cons than pros. If I keep holding out will that shift?

My PH balance has given me a chronic problem in the genital area that has been a beast to manage. My voice is a little deeper but I’m still getting called “ma’am” on the phone and in person. Beard growth is zilch. And what’s maybe the most frustrating part, the fat redistribution. Or should I say, lack there of! I’ve gained A LOT of weight while on T, and as far as I can tell, it’s made my breasts, hips, and butt all MUCH bigger! I’m curvier than ever which is making it just IMPOSSIBLE to pass. In fact, I got called “sir” waaaaaaaaay more pre-T than I do now. It’s extremely frustrating!

But like I said, I keep thinking I should hold out. The few pros I’ve experienced are really, really fantastic and I’m hoping there will be more. But yet another con that keeps me going on HRT: I used to be able to sing really well, but with the voice deepening I’ve lost that to a considerable degree. If I stop now, I’ll have given that up but be nowhere near a cis passing voice, so that part of it will be for not. :/ I’m really sick of the chaos going on in my lower body and having to deal with the embarrassment that brings, but I want to have faith that it’ll be worth it in the end. What do you guys out there suggest?

[Steffi]

Hi

I'm Steffi, MtF so can't answer your question specifically.

I did want to write a reply of some sort just to let you know that your message hadn't vanished into the Void

There used to be a core-group of trans-people going both ways who hung around on here and used it as a Chat centre too, so responses to queries were very quick, but that petered out a couple of years ago and these days although the site has a LOT of traffic, most people tend to just come and collect info on their query from our large archive of previously answered questions.

I'm sure that our FtM's are still around, I'm just not sure how often they check-in these days.

My own comment on your situation .....
I'm not sure that a single year of HRT is enough to make a judgement.
I do know that the development of significant facial hair on FtM's is a slow process and that a single year is definitely far too short a time for that.
The breaking of the voice is likewise a slow process - even in a born-male, where there is no previous born-sex influence to overcome, the voice break often takes two or three years. Myself, I well remember a period of about nine months when my voice was quite uncontrollable and would break into yodel like spontaneous octaves a couple of times per line.

I am near certain that testosterone cannot have a feminising effect.
The shifting of fat for me as an MtF was one of the last things to happen and other MtF's usually find the same.
Bear in mind that exercise can have a dramatic effect. Pubescent guys tend to do quite a lot of physical activity which I'm sure adds to their muscle growth.
I dated a butch-inclined thirty year-old lesbian for a couple of years and she was extremely keen on having a very masculinised presentation. She went for long walks every day (.....that near killed me when I was compelled to tag along!) and went to gym twice a week. As a result, despite having no HRT whatsoever and normal female periods etc, she did have a slim, muscular and rather masculine body and her breast-size was a small and saggy "B" cup, easily hidden.
After a gap of nearly five years, I've recently seen her again. Due to various general life issues and a shift in her own attitude she has hardly been exercising or walking much and is now at least three stone heavier - she now has F-cup breasts and pretty large ass, so physical activity certainly has significant effect.

I have never known of a FtM Regretter and the FtM's that I know have all had good results from T that they are very pleased with. Beards and gravelly voices seem common.

Hopefully, an FtM will drop in here soon and give you advice from specific personal experience.

[TommyPickles]

Ok wow... Thanks for replying cuz you’ve shifted my perspective a little already. I think my expectation for results vs time was WAY off! I was seeing all these before and after pics on Instagram with guys getting awesome masculinizing effects at the 6 months stage, 7 months stage, and practically passing at the end of a year. I don’t know if they were just really lucky or started living at the gym, but I feel a little better knowing the normal time frame is longer than that. Thanks very much!