Help for children of transgendered parents

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The following is a factsheet compiled by Mermaids. Mermaids is a support group for young people with gender identity issues and are not themselves able to help the children of trans people so they have come up with this list of resources that may be helpful.


BM MERMAIDS, LONDON, WC1N 3XX - Phone: 0208 123 4819 (Mon-Sat 3-7pm when staffed)

Web: http://www.mermaidsuk.org.uk - email: mermaids@freeuk.com



HELP FOR CHILDREN OF TRANSGENDERED PARENTS



Mermaids is a support group for children and teenagers who have their own gender identity issues, also their families etc. Our remit (and our lack of relevant experience) prevents us from helping the children of adults who are transgendered, unless those children also may be considered to be gender variant. From time to time we occasionally receive requests for help for children who are troubled by a parent’s transgenderism, or who need some form of help and support whilst they adjust. This document contains all the current information that is available to us, and is intended to be used as a factsheet. If anyone has any further information that could be usefully added to this, please let us know!



Depend (http://www.depend.org.uk)  email info@depend.org.uk  - this is a support group for the loved ones of transsexual people, it runs several email lists with varied remits. There is a family list, but so far the youngest member is about 13.  It's for UK people only. Although as Depend is a support group for the loved ones of transsexual people, we don’t have enough personal experience to be able to really help - we'd possibly  need to be transpeople with the experience of transitioning whilst our children were still minors, in order to be able to provide the right kind of information and support.  There are also two partners lists (for the partners of FTM and MTF transpeople).  These are listed on the Depend website http://www.depend.org.uk.[Soft Break][Soft Break]For those in the UK there is help to be had for children who are having problems associated with having a parent who is trans, from the Gender Identity Development Unit at the Portman Clinic - this is NHS. They will act as expert witness in court cases too (not NHS) , as well as seeing children and teens with their own gender issues (NHS).    http://www.tavi-port.org/node/534 [Soft Break][Soft Break]The Gender Identity Development Service [Soft Break]The Tavistock Clinic[Soft Break]120 Belsize Lane[Soft Break]London NW3 5BE   

tel 020 8938 2030 (open Mon/Tues/Weds/Fri but not all the time.) http://www.tavi-port.org/node/534



Gender Identity Research and Education Society (GIRES): This registered [Soft Break]charity provides publications that:

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Give readily comprehensible explanations, of gender identity development [Soft Break]and transsexualism, to children in the preteen or teenage groups who have a [Soft Break]trans parent.
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Help clinicians, school administrators and other professionals to support [Soft Break]children who have a parent experiencing gender discomfort and transsexualism or are themselves experiencing gender identity development issues.  This material explains the origin of these conditions and their effect on the parent, the child and other members of the family.
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Imbue understanding and tolerance in the peer groups of children who have a [Soft Break]trans parent or are themselves experiencing gender identity development [Soft Break]issues.
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Advise trans parents on how to obtain Court help in maintaining contact [Soft Break]with their children in cases where a partner is denying proper access.[Soft Break]http://www.gires.org.uk - admin@gires.org.uk - 01372 801554

[Soft Break][Soft Break]Perhaps WOBS )Women of the Beaumont Society) may also be able to offer advice...[Soft Break]www.gender.org.uk/wobsmatters. They also run a yahoo group: http://uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/wobsmatters

 

And there are email lists for trans people who are parents starting to pop up....

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/APartT/ UK only. and with a wider remit:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Transpare ... rnational/



http://www.gender-id.com/TSInfo/Family/Kids.htm#Parent - some useful resource links



You may also find useful information at Abigail Garner’s Families Like Mine site: http://familieslikemine.com/

[Soft Break]This site has message boards for people dealing with kids & family: http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/

There’s a Kids of Trans tag for this blog, too:

http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/tag/kids-of-trans/



COLAGE does a lot of work with LGBT parents, & coming out:[Soft Break]http://colage.org/resources/parents.htm[Soft Break]They have specific information on how to come out to your kids:[Soft Break]http://colage.org/resources/coming_out.htm

http://www.colage.org/resources/transgender_family.htm



More information here: the Straight spouse network   http://www.ssnetwk.org/ 

(this is USA based but has a UK branch)



Children of lesbians and gays everywhere  UK contact: Anna Carlsson[Soft Break]Email: anna.carlsson@gmail.com Mobile: 07752 418947

 

Transfamily is based in the USA but may be helpful – their website is comprehensive and they run various email lists. http://www.transfamily.org/



http://www.tsroadmap.com/family/ lists resources



http://www.avitale.com/FriendsandFamilies.htm - a list of assorted resources.



Fluff the Bunny - http://home.comcast.net/~fluffbunny/fluff.html - this is a children’s story, which may be helpful for younger children.



http://www.fsatoronto.com/programs/fsap ... html#three (easier version:- http://tinyurl.com/6vc74 ) - this is a very useful resource, presented by the Family Service Association of Toronto, with links to further resources.



http://www.symposion.com/ijt/ijtc0601.htm - Transsexuals’ Children, a paper by R Green.



Books:

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Families Like Mine: Children of gay parents tell it like it is (covers LGBT) by Abigail Garner, pub. HarperCollins, ISBN 0060527579
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Out of the Ordinary: Essays on growing up with gay, lesbian, and transgender parents. ISBN 0312244894 Pub. Stonewall Inn Editions
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http://snipurl.com/ggdo possibly - (one for LBGTQ teens)





Compiled by Mermaids - Updated November 2009

© Mermaids 2011-

BM MERMAIDS, LONDON, WC1N 3XX - Phone: 0208 123 4819 (Mon-Sat 3-7pm when staffed)

Web: http://www.mermaidsuk.org.uk - email: mermaids@freeuk.com