Skype Support Group Show Notes for Sunday 15th May 2011

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Ice Maiden
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Skype Support Group Show Notes for Sunday 15th May 2011

Postby Ice Maiden » Sun May 15, 2011 9:23 pm

This week was a 'technical special' whilst we ironed out the streaming and discussed how best to promote and organise this group.

There was time for for an hour discussing how crossdressing 'badly' does reflect on the transsexual community. We also discussed the work of Erving Goffmann's 'courtesy stigma' and how that directly affects transgender people.

We also discussed the real life test 'drop out' rate for pre op transsexuals on the real life test.

We argued that this maybe deceiving - where the reasons for the drop outs are not necessarily they have changed their mind rather courtesy stigma family pressure and social anxieties have made life impossible. The desire to change remains.

We also looked at the rather darker subject of suicide and that some families have said theyd rather this loss than the loss of a person to transsexualism/

Plus the usual lightweight banter.
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Denise Anderson
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Re: Skype Support Group Show Notes for Sunday 15th May 2011

Postby Denise Anderson » Mon May 16, 2011 10:01 am

Crikey that sounds as though it was a busy one... was out on the marshes in Essex so couldn't make it... catch up again soon :)

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Re: Skype Support Group Show Notes for Sunday 15th May 2011

Postby Lets Have A Party! » Sun Sep 22, 2013 3:58 pm

Do you mean that crossdressers are bad for our community in a sarcastic way? I'm not sure because you used "''", so I'm not sure If you are being sarcastic or not. Not a crossdresser, but I think that it is hurtful when transsexuals look down on crossdressers or anyone in our community that is not like them. If you are just being sarcastic that's fine, but if you're not, I don't think it is a very nice thing to say.
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Re: Skype Support Group Show Notes for Sunday 15th May 2011

Postby Steffi » Mon Sep 23, 2013 6:15 pm

The problem with cross-dressers and transsexuals is this:-
The transsexuals are living the life 24/7 and are usually quite content to dress-down and try to blend in and live the life of "an ordinary woman"

The cross-dressers of various flavours are doing it part-time and are content to live their lives as males in the vast majority of cases.
This means that they rarely have the help with feminisation that hormones give, that they most often do not have facial hair removal and often are unable to remove body hair (gym, wife, swimming, work changing rooms etc) Many take little trouble with voice or body language etc.
Many do it in a very loud and oversexualised way because to them it is "just a party" one night a week or a month or whatever.

That is fine, as far as it goes - people should be able to do as they like provided it does not harm anyone.

The problem is that to the uninformed public, we are all the same. Once someone born male dons female clothes etc then they tend to fall into a single "class" in the public mind.

There is a vast difference between:-
* A transsexual who has a desperate need to change sex, has had hair removal, hormones, changed their mannerisms and voice and is striving to fit-in to normal female life and standards.
and
* A TV/cross dresser who is walking down the street with a male gait and talking in a booming male voice, with visible beard-shadow, bushy eyebrows, a bad wig, sporting copious body-hair and probably wearing a mini-skirt plus visible stocking-tops and ultra high heels despite being 6-foot tall and over 50.

OK .... I exaggerate slightly. Not every cross dresser is like that. Some are beautiful en-femme and pass better than the "genuine transsexuals." I myself know several.
But many don't. Many are pretty appalling, as described above and it is those people especially who are objectionable for the confusion they cause in the public mind.
When one is a transsexual who has gone through considerable physical and mental pain to simply become a "normal woman" it is galling to have our status and the desparation of our situation devalued when the public just mentally put us all in the same category.

Beyond the rather obvious argument above there is a more subtle one that applies to even the very passable cross-dressers:-
People who oppose transition often say "Well I know someone who dresses just like you do, but he only does it once a week.......why do you want to change sex? Why can't you just do what he does? You are just going over-the-top ..... you're obsessed with it." etc etc.

I have seen it many times and have personally experienced it several times too :-s

I'm not "anti-transvestite" by any means, though I tend not to hang around with groups of TV's or even other transsexuals because I transitioned to become A WOMAN - not to be part of some marginalised twilight world.
I just recognise that the part-timers inevitably have a negative effect on the perception of the seriousness of the transsexuals plight - even if they aren't behaving in a ridiculous OTT way
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