Example person is depressed because they cannot get work and are trans.
They come out and transition and feel elated! Their depression diminishes and they are on top of the world - they 'blame' being trans for the depression.
They have surgery and are discharged, and sit and look at the wall, they no longer have the transissues to blame. They still cannot get a job.
They blame the transissues and transphobia for not being able to get a job. Nothing has changed. They are now depressed and wonder if they were better off before transition? The 'burden' of being female is only shown once there is no route back (surgery). They realise just how easy they had it before in social terms and could not get work even then. Being a woman has increased the liklyhood they will get work as now they no longer have male-privilege and are judged by their appearance far more. Their family may have split which at least supported them before.
Alone and unemployed they sit looking at an aging female face wondering "WHAT THE HELL HAVE I DONE!!!"
"Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world. For, indeed, that's all who ever have." M.Mead
Man [...] must count no one but himself; that he is alone, abandoned on earth in the midst of his infinite responsibilities, without help, with no other aim than the one he sets himself, with no other destiny than the one he forges for himself on this earth." - J.P.Sartre.
Who am I?
But one thing that transitioning (including surgery, perhaps especially surgery) fixes is the REALLY BLOODY MASSIVE PROBLEM of being trans. And either withholding it or stringing someone along, whether or not with the best of intentions, is incredibly dangerous and probably a significant contributor to that 40+% attempted suicide rate amongst transsexuals. Speaking at least from personal experience.
Transitioning isn't going to make the abuse I suffered in my past go away. It's not going to fix the problems caused by some of the knob-ends I worked for. It won't fix my sleep apnoea. It won't make me slim, young and pretty. It may help my agoraphobia somewhat, but it won't fix that either. I'll still have my Asperger's and ADHD.
But it will deal with the final chapters of my transition, and as mentioned previously, that alone is a really bloody massive problem, bigger than all the others. And the longer it's dragged on, stretched out and promises are made and broken and excuses layered on thick, the more I suffer. And likewise, so do others in my position.
Just because some people screwed up when it came to their expectations... spoiling it for everyone else is a massive price to pay.
I also strongly agree with her remark,
Christine wrote:Just because some people screwed up when it came to their expectations... spoiling it for everyone else is a massive price to pay.
Like has been said here earlier, the surgery is not the huge be-all and end-all which fix all woes - far from it. If there are issues in a person's life, they will still be there after the surgery. The surgery is a personal thing to just make the person feel and look right - nothing else. If the surgery does not work out right for me (complications or whatever), well, I've made the decision to go ahead with it. Nobody else has, I have been assisted to get there and whatever the outcome - I will have to live with it. End of.
Take the Bull by the Horns - Face a difficulty and grapple with it without avoiding it.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyse you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are.--Bernice Johnson Reagon
MTF (as long as I can remember)
52 years young
- Posts: 648
- Joined: Fri Jun 18, 2010 6:11 pm
- Location: ASTWOOD BANK, WORCESTERSHIRE UK
In my case, I have endured torturous recovery, and now almost 5 years hence, I still have need of pant pads to deal with leakage from the wound and some urinary issues.
Your question about ' how I know etc.' Perhaps you may just might like to think a little before making a decision that may create problems unforseen. One endures the pre-op protocols dictated by the clinic and cannot wait for that surgery date but my God, what follows, for some of us is nothing to wish for.
I live as a woman, am treated as such, and have no regrets. However, the desired and dreamt of outcome is nothing more than the dream that one be of the same mindset as a birth female.
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