Advice and thoughts please

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DeborahJane

Advice and thoughts please

Postby DeborahJane » Wed Jul 26, 2017 9:43 pm

I don't know how many times I've started to write this.

I think I'm transgender but full of doubt. I'm a male in his forties but have had these feelings for years. When I was a child, I used to try on my sisters clothes and used to part wish I'd get caught but would then be scared about the consequences. Since then whenever I've dreamed or daydreamed, I'd always be in a female role. I've always felt an outsider in groups and lad-chat has never appealed!

Over the years, I've brought loads of clothes and then gone through purges but would always come back to it. Whilst I would dress I would always feel incomplete by this and want to spend more time and take this further. Lately these feelings have been getting stronger and stronger and most nights I end up searching for info on progressing further to the stage where I'm trying to work out what I need to do next, from joining groups to trying to talk to a doctor.

Advice gratefully received, please

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Steffi
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Re: Advice and thoughts please

Postby Steffi » Thu Jul 27, 2017 6:46 pm

Hi :-)

(You did not say, so I'm making the assumption that you are hetero and have a partner as that's very common)

Do you have a secret stash of clothes?

YIt would be good to find your local trans-group, go there and chat to others. Often these groups also provide tutorials (e.g. makeup) and trips out in public.

Talking to your GP is a step along the way to transition but seems a bit premature if so far all you have done is think about it ????

- for more meaningful and helpful advice, could you give a little more detail?
Contact me privately via "steffi AT transgenderzone DOT com" Click to see Who I am

To those who understand, I extend my hand
To the doubtful I demand, take me as I am
Not under your command, I know where I stand
I won't change to fix your plan, Take me as I am (Dreamtheatre - As I Am)

I have about twenty tracks of me in my prior life as a guitarist up on You-Tube, if anyone wants to check them out
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8QKYu ... zkA/videos

DeborahJane
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Joined: Mon Jul 31, 2017 10:28 pm

Re: Advice and thoughts please

Postby DeborahJane » Mon Jul 31, 2017 10:41 pm

Thank you for the initial feedback. I've now registered, so there might be a slight name change!

So I'm hetero but not in a relationship and live on my own. This does mean that my female clothes collection is currently a large wardrobe and I'm dressing most nights and weekends. I think recently I've finally realised that I need to focus more on me.

I'm not sure what else to say!

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Steffi
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Re: Advice and thoughts please

Postby Steffi » Tue Aug 01, 2017 3:41 pm

Hi

Thanks for the info :-)
Some more questions:-

Are you just dressing in the home or are you also going out? - I am sure that you will have a powerful urge to even if you haven't yet.
Do you know where your local trans-group is? Do you have any trans friends at all?
Are you self-medicating? (unofficially taking hormones you have bought)

If you are going out as Deborah :-
- then you seem to have confidence so either you Pass very well or don't care that you don't.
- you are effectively living "dual-role" ( I assume that you are working on the weekdays and that is why you dress eves/weekends.? )
- then you have already done what is to many the hardest part, presenting to the world in your new identity.
........ in that case, the steps and problems ahead are just practical ones.

To progress along the path towards changing sex/gender-role, the first point of contact is your GP. You need to go and see him/her, explain that you believe you are transsexual and ask to be referred to a Gender Identity Clinic.
Most GP's are fairly clueless about how to process a patient with gender dysphoria - there are PDF leaflets on the NHS website to help and advise them.
Ask for this referral right now, because the waiting list is very long and it could be 18 months or more before you get your appointment at a GIC.
It doesn't matter if you later change your mind and back-out, no-one will mind, they'll just give someone else the good news that they have moved forward slightly.
The GIC deals with everyone, whether they eventually want the sex-change operation or not. For those who do want the op, the route through the GIC is the only way. The GIC instructs your GP to prescribe hormones - without this instruction, it is EXTREMELY rare that a GP will prescribe as it leaves them personally open to legal liability.

Once seen by GIC and in-the-program, you will be required to live in-role 24/7 for two years, called the Real Life Experience (RLE)
They are usually prepared to backdate your start date somewhat IF it is clear that you have been living in-role successfully for some time already. Obviously that would not really be possible until you change your name, so the date at which you changed your name by Deed-Poll or Statutory Declaration is important in this regard.

I would be happy to chat to you one evening by Skype, once you have access to this forum's Private Messaging system so that we could arrange it.
- you would not have to send me video if you did not wish to :-)
It would give me a chance to ask questions and get info to much more quickly get an understanding of how to help you along.
Contact me privately via "steffi AT transgenderzone DOT com" Click to see Who I am

To those who understand, I extend my hand
To the doubtful I demand, take me as I am
Not under your command, I know where I stand
I won't change to fix your plan, Take me as I am (Dreamtheatre - As I Am)

I have about twenty tracks of me in my prior life as a guitarist up on You-Tube, if anyone wants to check them out
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8QKYu ... zkA/videos



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