I have a desire to be a woman, I don't have a desire to be a poor imitation of a woman. Some people are very lucky and can pull it off quite successfully. I could not, with current technology, ever be something that I would find satisfying.
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I felt the same - I could have transitioned at 24, when depression overwhelmed me and I went to see a shrink and talked about my trans-ness.
But I knew that I would never be a 100% pass. I wanted to be a WOMAN, not a transsexual.
I reached breaking-point and transitioned almost 30 years later and now I deeply regret all of the wasted time and all of the inner misery that I secretly suffered.
I was 6 feet tall, broad shouldered and pretty much a fine figure of a man.
Although not hideous, I am a long way from being 100% pass, but it's ok.
I am at peace with who I am and in day to day life I am accepted as and treated as a woman - with the very occasional exception of some loudmouthed lout. Life is a little more difficult in some ways, but the sensation of inner peace is priceless.
Hormones also change one's mindset and attitude - until you have actually felt the experience it is impossible to understand just how different it feels to have one's body running on estrogen instead of testosterone.
I do understand your attitude - believe me, I felt the same. But eventually I reached the point of suicide and thought that as I was intending to die anyway, I might as well give it a whirl and live as a woman for a while. I did it with the expectation that I would be a shunned outcast and although I did have some problems with people's attitude etc, it was only about 1% of what I had actually expected.
If you ARE a transsexual, then that's what you are.
In that case, your statement quoted above can be read in a different way.
Instead of being a declaration of the current technology failing to meet your high standards, It says "I cannot accept who I actually am and would rather continue pretending to be something I am not"
Noting the line
what you are saying is that if you could convincingly pretend to be a born-woman, then you would.I don't have a desire to be a poor imitation of a woman. Some people are very lucky and can pull it off quite successfully.
It is STILL pretense and actually brings it's own set of problems - e.g. you might get a boyfriend but then you need to account for why you are infertile and do not have periods. You have no history of e.g. girl's school. You live in constant fear of discovery, of being unmasked and you are dating someone on the basis of your deception who might well not accept or desire you if he knew the truth.
Peace only comes when one accepts who one really is. Having accepted it oneself, one does not care what other people know or think about it.
I do understand your stance - believe me I have been there myself. But mindsets change over time.
I hope that you do not do as I did and eventually come to an acceptance of the true situation and transition anyway only to regret all the wasted time.
- that is why so many people transition so late in life, because it takes them that long to finally break and accept who they ARE.