Here are the reasons for
I am attracted mainly to women and always considered myself a lesbian, even though I didn't admit it, until I started to try and come to terms with it quite recently. However, not long before I started dealing with my gay feelings, I kind of noticed men for the first time in my life. I can appreciate if a man is attractive and I thought that I was beginning to feel some attraction but I am wondering if it's actually admiration as in I want to look like them. I kind of envy men for their effortless looks, dominant gender role, and the role they play in sex as the dominant male. Plus they can date woman with ease.
If I imagine myself as a man, I think I could kind of interpret what I feel about men as attraction, and might be a bi-sexual man. It would feel much more comfortable dealing with this as another person ie a male than as a female.
I cannot imagine being intimate with anyone in my female body. Never gave it a thought till I started questioning my sexuality, then when I did I got freaked out.
I don't feel comfortable with my female parts and body shape since questioning my sexuality and now gender. I now feel very uncomfortable looking at myself in the mirror. I don't like shaving my legs much any more, but I'm not proud of it getting my hairy legs out! It's more like I can't bare to look at my body which I would have to do to shave my legs.
Since admitting I like women, I feel uncomfortable around other women like I'm not the same as them, I don't fit in. Whereas before, I could feel like one of the girls because I did not admit to myself 'I'm gay'
I feel uncomfortable being looked at that way by men
Since all this gender confusion began, I've started to wear baggier clothes because I feel self-conscious. I get anxiety from wearing girly clothes and trying to shop for new clothes or basically anything to do with my appearance.
I would prefer to wear male clothing as it is more conservative
If I try to imagine my life in 5 years time, I cannot imagine being the person I am now ie female. Never mind in a relationship with man or woman. I have fantasies about being a successful man with a good job but it's kind of imagining me as someone else rather than me the same person but in a man's body.
These are the reasons against
I have reached my mid twenties and up until recently I have never doubted my gender identity. So it's quite a recent thing.
My best friends at school were always girls. I have had any desire to go play with the boys, act like a boy etc. I would say I was just a normal girl, not overly feminine but definitely not a tomboy. I always looked up to girls and women as my role models - like I want to look like/dress like/be like her. But now I'm wondering is that the lesbian thing.
Growing up my interests were art, learning musical instruments, reading (novels), making things (bracelets, clay models, anything like that) I was never into rough games, climbing etc that I would consider boyish. I would be sat engrossed in a book or painting!
As a child, I loved dressing up as a girl. Again could that be the lesbian thing tho?
Up until recently I have always been feminine in my appearance and interested in fashion.
I feel that if I am trans it would be a case of 'reinventing' myself as a man. It's not already there as I'm still looking/acting like a girl. Is this how it feels to be trans? like recreating a new persona, a male version of yourself with different interests, tastes etc.
When I think I may be trans, it gives me much anxiety, not happiness and relief but fear. Fear that I have to reinvent myself, my perception of the world around me will change to that of a male, so my friendships and relationships with family will change too. I get the sense I will feel differently about them from a male perspective. Like I won't relate to them in the same way. I feel like I will be shedding the person I am now and starting with a blank canvas
But at the same time, it feels kind of exciting to start afreshDo you think this sounds like trans?
