Don't know were to turn now.

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Joined: Thu Oct 05, 2017 3:38 pm

Don't know were to turn now.

Postby Christyl » Thu Oct 05, 2017 4:00 pm

I attended the doctors today for the first time to ask for help and support about being a mtf trans person. She wasn't to helpful. All she said was their is a big waiting list and the other choice is to go private. Don't know were to turn now. Can anyone help

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Re: Don't know were to turn now.

Postby Steffi » Fri Oct 06, 2017 12:59 am


Welcome to the forum :-)

Long waiting lists have always been a problem.
They have worsened as the subject and the route to help became more widely known - more people came out and did so earlier in life, so the numbers dramatically increased.
At the same time, the financial squeeze in recent years has prevented any expansion of services for trans people and probably decreased them - although some aspects have become more streamlined e.g. GP's can now refer patients direct to a GIC whereas in the past, you were first assessed by a local psych.

Some GP's are a lot more helpful than others ...... yours appears to not be very helpful, although you should also realise that most GP's have not dealt with a trans-person before and only have vague knowledge of what to do and how.
GP's are still "just people" and have their own personal attitudes and opinions so whilst not breaking any rules, some are far more helpful than others.

The waiting list for NHS may be long, but you will not progress through it if you are not on it in the first place.
Step one would be to go back and get yourself put on the list. If your GP is unsure of how to preceed, there are PDF's on the NHS website to give GP guidance.
- you might consider changing your GP if you feel that they are being somewhat obstructive.
Remember though that NO-ONE is going to respond to your announcement that you are trans by leaping to your aid and encouraging you to pursue it.
It is up to you to show that it is not a passing whim but something that you are determined to do, so allowing yourself to be put off or obstructed by the GP's response is to fall at the first fence - if you then fall silent and go away, that just proves that they were right to not spring into action.
Go back, ask your GP if they have any previous experience of dealing with a trans-person and if they are comfortable doing so.
Ask (demand) to be referred to a Gender Identity Clinic (GIC).

There is a private route but it is expensive. Whilst a bit faster than the NHS, it is still slow.

Bear in mind also that the GP has to make judgement on what they already (assume they) know about you and also how you now presented to them.
- someone who is clearly very depressed and perhaps rather tearful is going to present as a different case to someone who arrives smiling and rather jovially says they were CONSIDERING changing sex to female.

The first time I saw my GP I asked for a referral. Nothing really happened and a couple of weeks later I lost-the-plot and went into mental care.
- the second time I asked, a few weeks later, I was living full-time as female and already adamant that I would never be "going back"

I forget now as it was about 12 years ago, but I think that my own journey from first appointment with GP to going to Charing Cross for my surgery was two years ...... quite a rapid progression through the system as I never raised any doubt in the mind of anyone and conformed to every requirement, usually in advance. ( was certainly less than two and a half years)
A few weeks ago, "Philippa" posted that she had recovered from her op and remarked that the whole journey for her had taken 4 years.

To best advise it would be useful to us to have a little more information about yourself and your circumstances :-
* Age ?
* Health ? (mental and physical)
* Where you live? (approximately, e.g. nearest large city)
* Married/single/parent ?
* In employment/college/unemployed?
* Are you dressing - secretly? - at home only or going out?
* Do you know any trans-people? Does anyone know about you other than the GP you just told?
Contact me privately via "steffi AT transgenderzone DOT com" Click to see Who I am

To those who understand, I extend my hand
To the doubtful I demand, take me as I am
Not under your command, I know where I stand
I won't change to fix your plan, Take me as I am (Dreamtheatre - As I Am)

my trans-ness viewtopic.php?f=40&t=5401&p=45640#p45351

Some (mostly rough) tracks of my prior life as a guitarist up on You-Tube, if you want to check them out ... zkA/videos

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