I'm new to all this and scared and terrified, help?

Gzz96
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Re: I'm new to all this and scared and terrified, help?

Postby Gzz96 » Wed Apr 06, 2016 11:25 pm

Hehe no problem...

Overall it doesn't seem like there is much I can do at the minute then? I'm going to get the ball rolling and book an appointment next week though , at least that's something. Is there no way I can get blockers between now and being referred, I don't really want to self medicate :o

Transition seems like a super long process using the NHS route :/ Do you know hoe long it will take from first attending the Gender Identity Clinic, to when I'll be able to take hormones? It looks like it will be awhile before I tell my parents :/ Also what's the best way to explain this to my GP, as I've said before, I'm quite shy as it is...

For now like I said, I'll approach my GP hopefully next week or the week after, in terms of counselling, should I ask for one from my GP or get one through my university? I imagine one at my university would be more open to dealing with these kinds of things?

Thank you again for your help and answering my questions, I've been more accepting of myself and I've definitely calmed down quite a bit since I started doing research and talking to you. I think I'm starting to lean more towards the idea of being a woman, I do feel that I'll be judged more which is certainly something I could do without.

Thanks again though I hope we'll be able to keep in contact throughout this whole thing, and sorry for all the questions, hope I'm not too annoying :tongueoutx: :angeleyes:

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Ice Maiden
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Re: I'm new to all this and scared and terrified, help?

Postby Ice Maiden » Thu Apr 07, 2016 2:19 pm

Quite a lot to ask here - plus how long is a piece of string? You are dealing with the NHS, referrals, costs, GP Knowledge and sympathy, local politics, NHS Gnder Clinic backlogs etc.. etc...

But I will try my best.

People can feel free to chip in or correct me as it changes all the time.

And Gzz96 do stick around and chat or comment on other posts. It does not matter if you are new to it all, friendship and kindness is always a good start as you have found out - sometimes anyone will do if they listen and are kind :)


Hehe no problem... Overall it doesn't seem like there is much I can do at the minute then? I'm going to get the ball rolling and book an appointment next week though , at least that's something.


It is more than something! Every great journey starts with the fist step :) Do not forget us when you reach the summit of Everest though eh? ;)


Is there no way I can get blockers between now and being referred, I don't really want to self medicate :o


In your case I would wait and see! If you were in a country where you were at risk of death for visiting pharmacy... or too poor to buy them in the US or ... you know then online is an option. But NOT in your case!


Transition seems like a super long process using the NHS route :/ Do you know hoe long it will take from first attending the Gender Identity Clinic, to when I'll be able to take hormones?


Well it is quite worrying when you spell it out like this, as it is a journey, you will speak about it, get various therapies (voice etc?) you will try HRT and have blood tests to see how you get on, you will take a year or two to 'develop' breast tissue and you will likely need a lot of time for others to get used to the idea. So it is unwise to say 'how long' as you maybe someone who needs more time than others or less? For example a person married with children may need additional counselling for their children and partner. Than say compared with someone 20 who has no such worries.

]But If you started today, I would say do not make any plans until 2020+ This is primarily down to the numbers looking for support now. You see visibility and acceptance carries a problem many have not foreseen. 20 years ago at 3 North Charing Cross Main Hospital there were like 3 people waiting. Today there can be 15 people all queued around the room - especially on Surgical clinic days.



It looks like it will be awhile before I tell my parents :/ Also what's the best way to explain this to my GP, as I've said before, I'm quite shy as it is...


"Hi"
GP - "Take a seat - how can I help?"
"I am a bit nervous about telling you this, but I feel I am transgender and would like to transition to female with the help of the NHS, Hormone Blockers and hopefully surgery in the future. For this to happen I would like a referral to an NHS Gender Clinic please."


MIC DROP! LOL

Image

Then see what they say as now your work is done - so to speak :).


For now like I said, I'll approach my GP hopefully next week or the week after, in terms of counselling, should I ask for one from my GP or get one through my university? I imagine one at my university would be more open to dealing with these kinds of things?


There is no harm in speaking to your University counsellor, quite often they are useless, but they do try. Gender diversity is a VERY complex issue. I can honestly say that I have been doing this for 20 years (front-line) as have many of the team who help here. And I suspect, like me, we are learning and being informed every day! But toi answer your question. Get all the help and support you can - if it is free. The more friends and people you can call upon the better! DO NOT SUFFER IN SILENCE - PLUS WE ARE HERE TOO :)

Thank you again for your help and answering my questions, I've been more accepting of myself and I've definitely calmed down quite a bit since I started doing research and talking to you. I think I'm starting to lean more towards the idea of being a woman, I do feel that I'll be judged more which is certainly something I could do without. Thanks again though I hope we'll be able to keep in contact throughout this whole thing, and sorry for all the questions, hope I'm not too annoying :tongueoutx: :angeleyes:


Well thank you and I am pleased that you are feeling better! The main thing is to just let this organically flow, do not panic and rush as if you make a mistake, the people who will get it in the ear are your care team. So this is why they make ABSOLUTELY SURE in as much as possible (a few always will change their minds) to ensure you have made the right decisions. Remember these choices WILL potentially affect the rest of your life!

Lots of !!! :)x
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Man [...] must count no one but himself; that he is alone, abandoned on earth in the midst of his infinite responsibilities, without help, with no other aim than the one he sets himself, with no other destiny than the one he forges for himself on this earth." - J.P.Sartre.

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Re: I'm new to all this and scared and terrified, help?

Postby Ice Maiden » Thu Apr 07, 2016 2:20 pm

#Replies
Disclaimer!!!! Please Read! http://media.transgenderzone.com/?page_id=2

"Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world. For, indeed, that's all who ever have." M.Mead

Man [...] must count no one but himself; that he is alone, abandoned on earth in the midst of his infinite responsibilities, without help, with no other aim than the one he sets himself, with no other destiny than the one he forges for himself on this earth." - J.P.Sartre.

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Gzz96
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Joined: Thu Mar 31, 2016 10:56 pm

Re: I'm new to all this and scared and terrified, help?

Postby Gzz96 » Thu Apr 07, 2016 7:14 pm

Haha thanks for all your help, I'll be sure to stick around and post on a few others as and when I feel like it. :tongueoutx:

I'll update here too when anything new happens :thumbup:

I guess my main worry now is whether I actually want this or not, like I'm still in the "questioning phase". I don't want to rush things and scr*w up, out of fear that I'm becoming more masculine all the time. I'm quite tall so I hope that I'll still be passable. :oops:

Do you have any ideas of something I could do to make things more clear and sure to myself, or is that the job of the psychiatrist only? :o

Thanks for answering all my questions IM! :-)


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Re: I'm new to all this and scared and terrified, help?

Postby Ice Maiden » Fri Apr 08, 2016 11:54 am

Truth is life is one big ?!

And no one I know has all the answers not even the NHS! (And How!)

You have to go with your instincts and feelings.

Discussion is important as it opens up the old neural pathways to fresh concepts - in effect this is education like any other 'learning'. Unfortunately for some on this planet, they are dealt a bad hand and have to work twice as hard to achieve their goals than say the girl you may know who you assume doesn't know how lucky she is. She just had to be born and it all worked out!

Life eh?!!!

But even that girl maybe abused or have other problems yet to appear. I mean people were jealous of the Late Jade Goody and poked fun at her relentlessly for just trying to be a good mum and provide for her kids. They ain't jealous now!

So let's just take a deep breath - there is a lot of learning to do, discussions to be had, and feelings to deal with.

As the old saying goes, do not run before you can walk. Life has been cruel, but you could be trans* and trying to escape the Middle-East right now with a flattened home and no food. I am sure there are trans* in those convoys or refugees. What of them?

You are articulate, funny, warm, and smart. You are going about this all the right way. So many run away from home or take risks with the sex trade and goodness knows what else every day to try and make sense of all this.

Slow and steady, wins the race - not always but in this case I think it is apt :)x http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/slo ... s+the+race

IM (AKA Sam).
Disclaimer!!!! Please Read! http://media.transgenderzone.com/?page_id=2

"Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world. For, indeed, that's all who ever have." M.Mead

Man [...] must count no one but himself; that he is alone, abandoned on earth in the midst of his infinite responsibilities, without help, with no other aim than the one he sets himself, with no other destiny than the one he forges for himself on this earth." - J.P.Sartre.

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