As far as introductions go...

[cactuarjon]

Hi! I'm new here

Firstly, I'd really like to apologise that my first post on this board is nothing but a rant... Sorry!! I just really need to get this off my chest. I'm not looking for anything really, just somewhere to vent.

Ok, so where i'm at. I've had my stage one phalloplasty done last year in august. I had stage 2 done at the beginning of this month. It was done down in London with the London team at St Peters Andrology centre. I live in west yorkshire. There's quite a distance between us. Stage one wasn't so bad, all that was required was a standard post op check up which i had at 5weeks. The second stage however is turning into my worst nightmare when it comes to dealing with GP's up here and London. It's not London's fault, they're fantastic. The issue is this massive gap in knowledge of such proceedures amongst GP's... not just GP's but nurses and hospital staff too! I had my drain out after one week which London couldn't do because there were no appointents available. I spent... excuse me. I wasted an entire day trying to get that thing removed! My own GP's nurse hadn't got a clue. 3 times she called the hospital down south where I had the op to talk her through how to remove it. She couldn't. She tugged and it felt like she was ripping my insides out with it as well. Her suggestion? A+E. God forbid anyone should ever need A+E. Lets just say six hours, one dose of morphine, one dose of laughing gas, a nurse and a gynocologist later after many emotions, pain and uncomfortableness, a urologist walks by and one small tug and it was out. I commend that guy! Friend of Mr Christopher's too. Seemed to be the only one out of the whole lot that knew what he was doing.

But A+E? Oh man. Not an experience I'm going to remember lightly. The NHS staff are so overworked, underpaid and under trained it was unbelievable! And it's a sad thing to have to witness. My heart honestly goes out to them.

Anyways, lets move on shall we. Today. I'm meant to have gone down london to sort out cath spigot with some hopefulness of having it removed. Haha, well that didn't happen! Ok, so maybe the start of the day was my fault? A bit of an issue popped up and I wasn't able to make it at the last minute. By now i'm fed up of this catheter. It's a pain in my smooth cheeks, I just want to be able to sleep right, shower right without the fear of it slipping and tugging... Have a flipping bath! Oh my days... a bath! I can dream... So anywho, I call's London, tell them I cant make my appointment and if it's ok for my GP to take over. Oh yes, absolutely fine! Fine my flippin' monkeys doorbells! (excuse me). I called my GP. "Oh no, we dont deal with caths." and they gave me a number for the district nurse. "Oh, we dont deal with caths either!" they say! So I called my local hospital! "Sure!" they said, "We'll do that for you!" I gets there and they're all "Oh no, we cant do that. You have to go down London." pretty much refused! At this point, may I add that after todays emotional rollercoaster I was at this point so close to breaking down and crying in front of these nurses. I just wasted what little money i did have on my attempt at going to London this morning. Arranging yet another trip is going to squeeze me completely dry. So i'm getting all festered about being skint.I'm getting all festered that there is no one. NO ONE! up here in West Yorkshire that knows a bloody thing about anything and is able to help even in the slightest. When you feel rough after an operation and the recovery time is slow and endless and peniless and full of emotional frustration... having to face what feels like the land of no hope is enough to bring anyone down. I left their office without saying goodbye because I knew the second i would try open my mouth, a flood of tears would follow. Not in public. I'm a man for gods sake!

I've since contacted Sara about my dilema and she has told me there is no other option than to go to London for this. So I am forced to spend money that i havent got and another five days flinging this catheter around with me to enjoy it's ooze from my stomach and it's utter inconvenience, uncomfortableness and sometimes pain from where its situated.

I honestly didnt think such simple proceedures would be so difficult to find a local nurse trained in. The knowledge of checking wounds to determine if all is well, knowing how to remove a cath, talking a patient through learning how to pee again. Sounds so simple, but it's obviously not. How can the government be so neglective of one of our most basic needs - Health??? Yes, the NHS is free, something I am entirely thankful for to no end. And the nurses and doctors do try their best with the little recourse they have available to them. My rage right now is not with them. My rage is with this cr*p hole of a government that just hasn't got a clue. I'm sure there was a time when the men in suits were looked upon as intelectual beings worthy of respect. Now... everytime i open a newspaper the only definition i see is a bunch of clowns.

By the way, I honestly hope I haven't put anyone off phalloplasty surgeries!! Not my intent! For the record guys - those who haven't got there yet - the results in time far outweigh the emotional car crash you have to get through to get there. Surgery, is by any means, a tough ordeal to endure. But I can tell you now, beyond todays absolute fail, I am already wholeheartedly ecstatic about the results I have. Maybe, when i'm in a better mood, I can share the other side of the emotional coin and the happy i currently have in my pants

I will relax now. I feel much calmer now that i've unloaded everything off my chest! I'd like to commend anyone who's actually sat there and read through my whole 'rage-off'! You deserve a cookie. Think i'm going to have a brew, some pizza, and continue my game

[snowdoggy]

Hello and welcome

It really sounds like you've been through it all. I'm post phallo surgery now and hear what you're saying. It is a long way to have to keep going and costs a lot of pennies.

Finding someone local who can deal with all the problems that can arise from this surgery can be problematic to say the least. I was lucky and found a good practice nurse who could do many things I was supposed to go down to London for but not removal of any of my catheters.

I know what you mean by craving a bath. It drove me bonkers showering and like you say the fear of slipping and pulling it.

From what I've heard chatting to other trans guys regarding lower surgery is that we all have different problems at different stages. My main trauma was with the vaginectomy. I was fine until I got home then did a major sneeze and I felt something give down there. We ended up having to call in an ambulance as it was pouring out of me and didn't show any signs of abating. They said there wasn't much they could do other than taking me into hospitaI but I told them I didn't want to go as standing up and moving about was making it 100 times worse. They checked my blood pressure etc and said it was all fine. I still had a catheter in at that time and ended up bleeding for 9 weeks solid. The London team said they didn't want to remove the catheter until after the bleeding stopped. They prescribed some pills which promote blood clotting to try and stem it but they didn't make any difference and my GP wasn't happy for me to be on them for 9 weeks so I told the team I wanted the catheter removing anyway as it was dirving me round the bend after 9 weeks. We drove down there, Mr. C removed the catheter and the bleeding stopped on the way home and never bled again.

I'm convinced the catheter was holding a wound open and the removal allowed it to close. Can't see any other explanation.

The procedures have changed since I had my surgery. I hear they are doing it in fewer stages now. I had the 4 stage procedure, which ended up being a 5 stage procedure as I originally decided not to have a vaginectomy but changed my mind further along so they had to do that as an extra stage.

Local surgeries/GPs/A&E are unlikely to want to remove a catheter at the urethral hook up stage as if the hook up hasn't worked they may not be able to deal with it as many have no idea what is involved with that type of surgery. Inserting a catheter in an ftm isn't as simple as with other guys because of the bend. I think it's at about a 90 degree angle and I have heard it can be difficult to inexperienced medical staff.

Don't worry about putting guys off having this surgery by telling your story. It is important people know the problems that can arise as it is very complicated and as you have pointed out, expensive if you live far from London with all the travelling involved.

I live in South Yorkshire. Not that far away from you, so we I think we both had around about the same distance to travel and the costs over all stages does add up.

I'm very pleased with my results also and like you said, it is, in my experience well worth it all in the end

[cactuarjon]

Thanks for the reply Snowdoggy! I was actually just reading your vaginectomy thread just the other day! I cringed so much!! But glad it's over for you now and just a long gone memory

I had almost everything in that stage 2, hysterectomy, ooferectomy, vaginectomy, urethral join up and glans sculpting! I feel lucky that apart from the tubes and locating experienced nurses in the area, I've had no issues what so ever. Not a single spotting of bleeding!

I've calmed down loads since my post last week! I had the catheter out with Fiona in London on Friday. I'm so glad it's gone! 5 hours in the car and I seemed fine getting back, it's when I got back and out of the car, 10 hrs total sitting down and I think I caught a minor uti, it floored me! I ached so much, felt sick and dizzy! Pretty much slept from 6pm to 8am following day. But it soon cleared up and I'm all right now! leaked a tiny bit from the hole so after I showered yesterday I just just put a small bandage over it. It aches though, the old cath site, hurts loads when I move, not sure if that's normal or not. Manageable with pain meds though.

And oh hey! I used to live in South Yorkshire! Moved up to Leeds only 4yr ago!

[snowdoggy]

Hi mate,

Sorry it's taken so long to reply.

They do so much more in fewer ops now it's amazing

One of the things that was putting me off lower surgery was the amount of ops we had to have back then.

Pleased to hear you have calmed down since your first post and I know how daunting this surgery can be. I don't know if it's better getting in one great wammy (more trauma in one go) or having it all done bit by bit (just getting over one op and knowing you have many more to come).

Does Mandy still work with the London team? She was the main port of call we had when i had my surgery. Not 100% sure but think Fiona was starting out then.

I am a known bleeder by the way. Got a haematoma straight after my chest surgery too and had to be rushed back in as an emergency

Other than these few problems I feel I have been very lucky overall and Mr. C told me he uses my surgery for examples now when showing new guys what to expect. He told me I have great results, particularly with my arm.

Have you had the urethral hook up yet? Sorry if I'm being dense or have missed where you mentioned it. I'm not that clued up with the current procedures and what happens when.

It seems we move around Yorkshire a fair bit between us as you moved from South to West and I moved from East to South

[cactuarjon]

Hi! Don't worry about not replying straight away, it can sometimes take me a while to remember I've posted here lol

I'm hoping the next op is the last. All I need are testicles, reseviour, pump and implants. Not sure if he'll do testicles and reseviour in one and then pump and implants in a separate and final stage. Tbh, hope it all gets done in one final op! I'm really glad I haven't had the entire thing in one go! It would have been way too much! This one wasn't so bad, but after the first stage I felt awful. Straight after I felt so depressed. I'm really glad I gave myself a full year between the first two stages. With this one not being so bad, I'm hoping to get the next in at the end of this year and yeah, I had the urethral join up in stage two!

I've not heard of Mandy. I met Fiona to have my cath out which is the first time I met her, I'd only seen Sara before now.

I had a haematoma too after my chest surgery! Had to go back in and it took a full 24hrs before I went back into surgery again as it was weekend and an emergency RTA victim had jumped the que. But the haematoma filled 3 quarters of one of those vac drains afterwards!!! :O I'm lucky I've got away with bleeding on this one! not got away from fistulas though! I'm not that lucky! Two so far. I'm not too worried though, just a case of waiting for them to heal :/

So far though I'm very pleased with results. My arm is healing great! Mr C says its much less pink than most peoples one year on! I'm hoping the scar tissue relaxes out in time though, it just feels so stiff. Also hoping some feeling comes back, haven't got any so far and regards other things, its all amazing! The sensation I have is fantastic!

I got one question for you though. No one ever mentioned or recommended hair removal for the donor site before stage 1. It means I've ended up with a hairy peen and everyone I talk to hasn't got a clue how or where or if its even possible to get perm hair removal on NHS?? Harley street say I need to speak with the gender clinic, gender clinic haven't got a clue and told me to talk to my GP and my GP doesn't have a clue either! So I've no idea what to do about that, and a bit worried about laser or the other one I can never remember since I have good sensation I'm guessing it won't feel too pleasant!

I usually pass by south Yorkshire on occasion to meet up with family and friends. I'll let you know next time I'm down that way, maybe we could meet up for a drink