Going forward vs. Changing back?

Changed your mind about changing gender roles? Discuss it here.
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Christine
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Re: Going forward vs. Changing back?

Postby Christine » Wed Jan 28, 2015 11:42 pm

JustMe wrote:I know exactly what you mean Christine, can you imagine if we were in our 20's and just starting out? What a different world compared to when we were in our 20's (sigh) - anyway, onwards and upwards.

That's true. I often find myself thinking "if only I'd done it then", but the world was less welcoming to our particular issues back then and it took quite enough bravery to do it when we did!

I guess the more pragmatic side of me thinks that we're the product of our experiences anyway, so there's not really such a thing as wasted years.

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Steffi
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Re: Going forward vs. Changing back?

Postby Steffi » Thu Jan 29, 2015 5:10 am

Christine wrote:I think that going private might not have helped: even if they can theoretically ease up on the absurd requirements, in practice they'll most likely follow the same guidelines set by CX. I think it's just too risky for them to do otherwise, I mean you have e.g. Dr Curtis getting constant aggravation simply for providing an alternative route. I'm not saying that from a no hope point of view, just that the route you've taken isn't a disadvantaged one, at least.

(edited to add - Apparently the matter reported in the following paragraph seems to have later been dismissed as unfounded )
No - you have Dr Curtis getting aggravation for very dodgy practises.
If I recall the detail correctly he was put under supervision by the GMC last time because he was signing one signature on the Surgical Approval.
The client then flew to Thailand for surgical consultation and on the way called in at a local psychiatrist's to collect a second signature, thus enabling them to drive on to the surgery with all boxes ticked.
Surely you can see why that set-up is unacceptable?

Nor is this Dr Curtis's first brush with the GMC

The shrinks at CX are NHS employees on salary.
Dr Curtis is a self-employed shrink, therefore paid by how many he processes. He is a businessman, running a BUSINESS.
I am sure that he has a very nice manner and tries to achieve client satisfaction - both are essential to his business model.
A significant number of his clients will be people who have had difficulty with the NHS route - perhaps for good reason?

If you want to find someone to blame for CX's caution, blame Samantha Kane This moron got Dr Russel Reed kicked out of CX and banned from transgender work. It was "all a mistake" he was "pushed into it" etc. He now campaigns to have gender reassignment banned.

Between the general public hostility to gender reassignment, the idiots like Kane, the constant carping of the clients and the array of assorted fruit-loops who show up at CX, I'm amazed that they haven't just quit and gone to something less stressful.
Now there are the NHS cuts and also the disruption of Mr Bellringer leaving.
People who have taken years, even decades to arrive at CX demand to be treated NOW, immediately.

Look on the positives:-
You are fortunate that you do not live in a country where you might be stoned to death for your gender issues.
You are fortunate that you don't live in America where - if you don't get assaulted and/or murdered - you would have to pay yourself for every single item.

CX GIVE you your hormones, GIVE you a perfectly adequate operation - with aftercare and rework if necessary - and that is still not enough?
When you are in the CX waiting room, do you look across at the notice-board between the treatment rooms and see the listing of the number of clients who could not even be bothered to turn up for their appointments?

Yes, I am long through The Program and it all went smoothly for me. My attitude is not from an "I'm alright Jack" standpoint.
I did what I was told, when I was told, how I was told. I said Yes Sir, No Sir. I presented in clearly female manner as happy and settled in my RLE and demonstrated forethought, reasonable and consistent expectations for the future and mental stability.
- and then I waited, quietly for however long it took. I was fortunate that at that juncture, the speed through the system was faster.
Buck any of that above list and your progress will be slower.
It was not a bump-free journey for me either - I just did a lot less bitching about it and considered myself very fortunate that I was being GIVEN anything at all.

The CX shrinks are NOT there to slow you down. The quicker they can get you off their books, the better it is for them. Unfortunately, many people cannot be rushed through so quickly. They give rise to various reasons for doubt and that caution might need to be exercised - CX do NOT want to create another Samantha Kane, (nor even a JennyJet)
CX have tolerated your inability to meet "their absurd requirements" re work, your frequent suicide attempts and your trips in and out of mental health care. I do not think that they have treated you badly or unfairly.

CX Admin has always been a joke - but if they spent part of their budget on superfast Admin resulting in some people being unable to get treatment then they would get stick for that too.
They need more money and that half their workload be shifted to an additional GIC that seems unlikely to be built in the next decade. :shrugs:

Meanwhile the situation is what it is and constant carping about it won't change that.
Instances where they have actually dropped-the-ball are a different matter.

This is not going to be a popular post - it might even end up in the Controversial forum :tongueoutx:
Contact me privately via "steffi AT transgenderzone DOT com" Click to see Who I am

To those who understand, I extend my hand
To the doubtful I demand, take me as I am
Not under your command, I know where I stand
I won't change to fix your plan, Take me as I am (Dreamtheatre - As I Am)

I have about twenty tracks of me in my prior life as a guitarist up on You-Tube, if anyone wants to check them out
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8QKYu ... zkA/videos

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Christine
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Re: Going forward vs. Changing back?

Postby Christine » Thu Jan 29, 2015 7:09 am

CX did nothing of the sort when it comes to "tolerating" my suicide attempts: they were the cause, and I find your suggestions that I somehow didn't live up to their standards to be frankly very offensive.

CX have absolutely given me the run-around regarding my operation and it's been dragging on for 18 months with no resolution in sight, forcing me to take the private route. The surgeon seems to not share certain CX clinicians' opinion of me (though that opinion was hardly consistent). And, no, I don't see what your problem is with Dr Curtis. He was thorough and professional, and I have to say far more so than the likes of Barrett. One could argue that he wouldn't be necessary were Barrett doing his job properly.

When it comes to causing lasting damage to patients, uncertainty and refusal to help patients is every bit as damaging as inappropriately approving someone.

Sorry, Steffi, but your post reads exactly like "I'm alright Jack".

This sort of shite is exactly the reason I want little to do with the "trans community". I'm outta here.

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Re: Going forward vs. Changing back?

Postby Steffi » Thu Jan 29, 2015 6:35 pm

I was having a tough day yesterday myself for reasons that aren't relevant.
I was tired and irritable and should have skipped any postsing.

I do not think that the main points are particularly less valid, but I did post in an abrasive manner and have a rant.

Regarding my remark that CX had been tolerant of your mental-health issues - I think that what the International Guidlines say regarding other metal health issues is that they do not preclude gender treatment as long as they are under control I think that CX could easily have taken the view that yours might not be and that was the reason for my remark.
Nor was I aware that you had met the requirement that you be in Employment/Education/Voluntary-work during year two. What was it you did?

I don't have a problem as such with Dr Curtis - if you cannot see for yourself what is wrong with streamlining things to the extent that getting the second signature on Surgical Approval has been reduced to being "a rubber stamp" from a distant shrink who has never even seen the patient then I cannot help you see that.
- I am sure that if the issue was whether or not a person got forcibly incarcerated in a mental institution and the required second-signature was being acquired in that fashion then EVERYONE would be up-in-arms about it.
Other than that I am merely pointing out that people would not readily pay to go to him OR ANY PRIVATE ROUTE if significant numbers reported "problems" in getting through. The business-model demands a very high customer-satisfaction rate and that should be taken into account in any comparison.
I have no personal axe to grind with with him at all. CX didn't spoke-his-wheel, the GMC investigated and were not happy that due care was being taken.

CX do make mistakes, some of them ridiculous and should be lambasted for them.
But a lot of the complaining centres on the slowness of the process which is often due to lack of resources and therefore beyond their control.

Whatever ....... I was bad tempered and had a rant. I never claimed to be perfect. Rather than have a continuing squabble going on, I will not make further response here. Someone else can have the last word
Contact me privately via "steffi AT transgenderzone DOT com" Click to see Who I am

To those who understand, I extend my hand
To the doubtful I demand, take me as I am
Not under your command, I know where I stand
I won't change to fix your plan, Take me as I am (Dreamtheatre - As I Am)

I have about twenty tracks of me in my prior life as a guitarist up on You-Tube, if anyone wants to check them out
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8QKYu ... zkA/videos


Casaluna
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Postby Casaluna » Fri Jan 30, 2015 2:15 am

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Last edited by Casaluna on Tue May 12, 2015 11:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.



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