Going forward vs. Changing back?

Changed your mind about changing gender roles? Discuss it here.
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JENNYJET
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Going forward vs. Changing back?

Postby JENNYJET » Sat Jan 03, 2015 8:47 pm

I humbly beg forgiveness if anyone be offended or disturbed consequent of this posting.

I have, as is usual to my post-op existence, just been watching a media event with regard to Kelly Maloney?

I am in very serious discomfort with what I am observing regards to her exposure and clear media manipulation.

Just exactly what is she or her advisors doing? Objective? Outcome?

I am a nobody and grateful for that and my life today post-op is Hell on Earth but of my choosing, Kelly is full blown media animal, and I fear her dreadful demIse if she continues to allow the media to massage her transition. I am grateful for not knowing her current pathways to Reassignment as this is private medical information and should remain so.

Real life is no reflection of dreams, it bites back hard, it hurts, it destroys plans, it melts any concept of a perfect outcome .

Kelly resides in her bubble, I also lived in a bubble until real life hit me in the guts as the real world crashed into my bubble.

My transition was easy up to and including surgery, but post-op, life has been a hellish journey. Mostly due post surgical issues that even today, 5 years hence remain unresolved.

Please do not be sucked in to the illusion that reassignment is easy or even a solution to one's distress.

Kelly, if happen to read this, and anyone else, do not get succumbed, seek advice from post-ops and decide accordingly your pathways before granting a surgeon the legal competence to rearrange your genital capabilities.

I do not miss my penis for a second, it never felt a part of me, life however is much as a muchness but without the burden of a male organ.

If I need to describe life this day, it is tolerable but not perfect.

Kelly is welcome to engage for a private conference.

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Steffi
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Re: Going forward vs. Changing back?

Postby Steffi » Sun Jan 04, 2015 8:19 am

I do not miss my penis for a second, it never felt a part of me, life however is much as a muchness but without the burden of a male organ.

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.....and as I have always cautioned that is ALL that surgery will ever do, fix that one thing.
Transition in the wider view is so much more than what is in your pants.
By the time a person is approved for surgery, their life is probably as good as it's going to get and no-one should go into surgery expecting it to magically fix ANYTHING else.

- of course, if the surgery is problematic as it was for Jennyjet, then that is an added and serious problem.

re Kelly - given that she was 1) already in the media spotlight and 2) was in an extremely macho field, attention from the media was inevitable.
Medical personnel are duty-bound to maintain her confidentiality, but a secret is only a secret until you tell someone else. In Kelly's case, if she chats about specifics of her progress then it is very likely that the details will appear in the press before long.
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Christine
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Re: Going forward vs. Changing back?

Postby Christine » Sun Jan 25, 2015 4:28 pm

Steffi wrote:.....and as I have always cautioned that is ALL that surgery will ever do, fix that one thing.
Transition in the wider view is so much more than what is in your pants.
By the time a person is approved for surgery, their life is probably as good as it's going to get and no-one should go into surgery expecting it to magically fix ANYTHING else.

I think one important thing is that it brings an "end" to the transition process (well, obviously it isn't an end, but it draws a line under the really intrusive, stressful and bothersome stage). It doesn't do all that much in itself, though for many it'll give a final degree of validation, but I think bringing a sense of finality and "yay, I can get on with my life now" mustn't be underestimated. As someone about to finish their fourth year of faffing about and still trying to get things moving, even privately, I can't emphasise enough how important that is. Maybe people who haven't had the same struggle, who haven't been endlessly side-tracked, made to jump through hoops, delayed and belittled might not appreciate that.

No, surgery isn't a panacea, it isn't a magic wand. But it is still a very, very important stage in the process and some of us are less fortunate than others in finding it incredibly difficult to get to that point, especially considering the total shambles the system is now in where even easily approved patients are likely to face an incredibly long and arduous wait.

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Re: Going forward vs. Changing back?

Postby JustMe » Mon Jan 26, 2015 9:11 pm

I agree Christine (and I dare say that I believe I'm one of the 'lucky ones' you refer to). I'm at 3 years since I approached my GP to request that I be referred to the GIC and I believe that my journey has been pretty smooth in comparison to yours. However, I also believe that I've been 'ready' for surgery for a good 6 months now and the feeling of hanging around in 'limbo' can be excrutiating at times.

Hugs
Kerry x.
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Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyse you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are.--Bernice Johnson Reagon

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Christine
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Re: Going forward vs. Changing back?

Postby Christine » Mon Jan 26, 2015 9:58 pm

I was thinking of others who really have sped through! There's far too much hanging around doing nothing useful for most of us, and you're also at that point...



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