A bit of introduction

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Mazey
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Mar 03, 2017 10:06 am

A bit of introduction

Postby Mazey » Fri Mar 03, 2017 11:16 am

Hi all. I'm now a 39 y.o. guy with some troubles. i'll explain at my best. Sorry for eventually troubles and for my english. I'm from Italy

For years now, i strongly wished for becoming more than my usual self, having the chance to be man and woman together. At start i crossdressed to limit myself, thinking it was only my personal idea to break stereotypes society game to us as well as limits and common places bound to gender.
Still, i like women, so i'm not an omosexual. Only, i feel this urge to try womanhood first person. I often dreams about growing breasts and other female parts, but i've alot of fear about what others would see on me after it. Nobody would understand my feelings, not my family, not my friends.
So i cannot talk this to my family doc or other people. Every time i check brands for hormones, MtF, i'm tempted to buy them. In the past i bought some transition pills to see what effect would give to me, but even after months of those, nothing happened (took them from a famous mtf site.. don't know if i can post it here though). A part of me was sad, another happy. Sad to haven't seen breast growth even after all that, a side happy to not having to show those changes to others neither to explain why i changed that way.
So i'm a bit troubled from this whole situation. I'm still trembling with excitement when i think i can add woman parts on my body. It gives me a great feeling of happyness, but when i think about how to explain this and what reactions people around me would show, i'm stricken with fear. trembling change from happyness to fear. So here's my questions

Can i temporally change my body without permanent effects? I mean, i'd like to take stuff like pueraria mirifica to see a breast augmentation and finally enjoy my new condition but i'd feel safer if the effect isn't permanent. I still remember those sites where they claimed "if you stop taking this product the breast will naturally decrease and return flat".. surely tempting as claim but doubtful. And, finally, i'd like to avoid taking something would harm my body in a long time run (meaning, if the product i took 'til breasts start growing would, later on, after stopping taking it, giving me health issues, or at worst, breast cancer, surely i'd be extremely frightened). this for essentially 2 reasons. 1) healing my body from something this level would take years and 2) the fear about how explain it to my family would be too stressing. More than it if would be b.cancer. i mean, my mother had this same cancer a couple of years ago and she's still recovering from it. Some times she has bursts of cries. It breaks my heart to see her so desperate. And i'd be totally mashed from the whole situation if applied to me too. Beh, if i write here is to try finding a good solution to my problem.

I usually have periods with this urge, a really strong urge to womanize myself even if only a bit. And, upon suppressing those urges for a long time, i forget them and continue, but it's alot stressing the whole process. And then, after a bit they would return back, stronger than before. So to discract my mind i go on ebay or mtf and crossdress sites to inform myself about products and stuff, infos about eventual risks involved, but nothing precise, always seen confuse infos, people with great problems whilte taking PM and people who isn't happened nothing in 10-15 years after taking it. And the same with MtF Hormones. Leading to strong health issues on some and nothing on others. Again, i'm trembling with a mix of excitement and fear now. Only by talking about the chance to change myself and i'm excited, but the little fear for problems about changing back is always there.

And i know i won't be satisfacted with a simple crossdress. i mean, i also checked about female bodysuits and partial suits with breasts, but i feel that would be a palliative, only a delaying-effect object. I wouldn't feel fully satisfacted with something applied on my body, i'd need to feel the change and the weight of my new chest to fully enjoy it. Still, even a slight effect would be good, to avoid a too great change in my body for others to notice it. And if the change would vanish itself upon me stopping the pills intaking, it would be perfect.

Hope this solution exists, because it would be the ideal one for me. Heck, i also though about having a TS society as normal would be a great solution not only for me but for all. ahahaha. If men had breasts from the start all this trouble wouldn't exists now XD
But of course i perfectly know that isn't possible at all (the TS world i mean).

Don't know if others had or have my same issue. I still feel being a TS would be normal, i'd still be me, but for now a temp solution would fit me better. If it exists, please tell me. Of course if there are risks involved, i want to know them too (hope not though)

Sorry for the troubles, i undestand my situation isn't simple. If i lived alone, on a mountain without human relations who'd care of it, but i don't live alone neither i can, with my mother great issue, and i don't want to worry her uselessly. But my urges are always stronger, i can only wait for them to subside, and wait for them to return.. it's a long cycle sadly.

Thanks alot for the patience into reading this, i know it's a mess. Sorry again for the troubles you'd have. I feel this is the right place to talk in :)

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Ice Maiden
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Re: A bit of introduction

Postby Ice Maiden » Mon Mar 13, 2017 6:19 pm

Thanks for the post but remember this is rather long and the term TLDR may mean not many will read it.

I will address the issues in bold as you have taken the time to tell us we should answer :)

Hi all. I'm now a 39 y.o. guy with some troubles. i'll explain at my best. Sorry for eventually troubles and for my english. I'm from Italy For years now, i strongly wished for becoming more than my usual self, having the chance to be man and woman together.

This in the UK is called Gender non-binary. In simple terms it mean you wnat to be in the middle of genders and perfectly fine today.


At start i crossdressed to limit myself, thinking it was only my personal idea to break stereotypes society game to us as well as limits and common places bound to gender. Still, i like women, so i'm not an omosexual. Only, i feel this urge to try womanhood first person. I often dreams about growing breasts and other female parts, but i've alot of fear about what others would see on me after it. Nobody would understand my feelings, not my family, not my friends. So i cannot talk this to my family doc or other people.

Italy is very advanced with transgender issues, and I am sure you can find a support group where you can go and dress-up publicly as a woman.

Every time i check brands for hormones, MtF, i'm tempted to buy them. In the past i bought some transition pills to see what effect would give to me, but even after months of those, nothing happened (took them from a famous mtf site.. don't know if i can post it here though).

Hormones take a long time to change your body, there are many suppliers who have poor supply chains. You should be able to contact the pharmacists and check where they get their products from. That said, it is not advised to start HRT ourself without medical support, if after seeing a doctor you want to buy it cheaper then that is different. However, it is always best to have medical supervision. No we do not want to know any sites you visit here.


A part of me was sad, another happy. Sad to haven't seen breast growth even after all that, a side happy to not having to show those changes to others neither to explain why i changed that way. So i'm a bit troubled from this whole situation. I'm still trembling with excitement when i think i can add woman parts on my body. It gives me a great feeling of happyness, but when i think about how to explain this and what reactions people around me would show, i'm stricken with fear. trembling change from happyness to fear. So here's my questions Can i temporally change my body without permanent effects? I mean, i'd like to take stuff like pueraria mirifica to see a breast augmentation and finally enjoy my new condition but i'd feel safer if the effect isn't permanent.

pueraria mirifica is one of the few herbal solutions that has had recent clinical trials and as such why it is the only one we suggest. However, it is not as powerful as medication your doctor can prescribe or Ethinylestradiol. Your results may vary some feel better some feel they need something stronger, again we can only look at medical trials and we suggest you do too. Check out Pubmed database for the product and you will see whay it is pretty good for a herb. see https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=Pubme ... 8gefj7KoCw


I still remember those sites where they claimed "if you stop taking this product the breast will naturally decrease and return flat".. surely tempting as claim but doubtful. And, finally, i'd like to avoid taking something would harm my body in a long time run (meaning, if the product i took 'til breasts start growing would, later on, after stopping taking it, giving me health issues, or at worst, breast cancer, surely i'd be extremely frightened). this for essentially 2 reasons. 1) healing my body from something this level would take years and 2) the fear about how explain it to my family would be too stressing. More than it if would be b.cancer. i mean, my mother had this same cancer a couple of years ago and she's still recovering from it. Some times she has bursts of cries. It breaks my heart to see her so desperate. And i'd be totally mashed from the whole situation if applied to me too. Beh, if i write here is to try finding a good solution to my problem.

Well even phytoestrogens (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phytoestrogens) can develop breast tissue in 'men' it is called Gynecomastia (see: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gynecomastia), and not easily reversed so be careful before you buy.

I usually have periods with this urge, a really strong urge to womanize myself even if only a bit. And, upon suppressing those urges for a long time, i forget them and continue, but it's alot stressing the whole process. And then, after a bit they would return back, stronger than before. So to discract my mind i go on ebay or mtf and crossdress sites to inform myself about products and stuff, infos about eventual risks involved, but nothing precise, always seen confuse infos, people with great problems whilte taking PM and people who isn't happened nothing in 10-15 years after taking it. And the same with MtF Hormones. Leading to strong health issues on some and nothing on others. Again, i'm trembling with a mix of excitement and fear now. Only by talking about the chance to change myself and i'm excited, but the little fear for problems about changing back is always there. And i know i won't be satisfacted with a simple crossdress. i mean, i also checked about female bodysuits and partial suits with breasts, but i feel that would be a palliative, only a delaying-effect object. I wouldn't feel fully satisfacted with something applied on my body, i'd need to feel the change and the weight of my new chest to fully enjoy it. Still, even a slight effect would be good, to avoid a too great change in my body for others to notice it. And if the change would vanish itself upon me stopping the pills intaking, it would be perfect. Hope this solution exists, because it would be the ideal one for me. Heck, i also though about having a TS society as normal would be a great solution not only for me but for all. ahahaha. If men had breasts from the start all this trouble wouldn't exists now XD But of course i perfectly know that isn't possible at all (the TS world i mean). Don't know if others had or have my same issue. I still feel being a TS would be normal, i'd still be me, but for now a temp solution would fit me better. If it exists, please tell me. Of course if there are risks involved, i want to know them too (hope not though) Sorry for the troubles, i undestand my situation isn't simple. If i lived alone, on a mountain without human relations who'd care of it, but i don't live alone neither i can, with my mother great issue, and i don't want to worry her uselessly. But my urges are always stronger, i can only wait for them to subside, and wait for them to return.. it's a long cycle sadly. Thanks alot for the patience into reading this, i know it's a mess. Sorry again for the troubles you'd have. I feel this is the right place to talk in :)

You seem unsure, you say you want to transition to a woman, yet want a route back in case you change your mind. This is perfectly normal to feel like this. It is very scary! And I understand you are frightened! However, unless you want to transition to female gender role and have surgery and hormones 100% Then I suggest you live as a woman as you are now, buy some products to help feminise your self from somewhere like here http://www.special-trade.eu/ and they will provide all you need. At least then if you change your mind you can simply get undressed! Rather than have more surgery ;)

PS Keep the posts smaller - thanks. We are all volunteers and do not have a lot of time to answer everyone.

Best wishes
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Ice Maiden
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Re: A bit of introduction

Postby Ice Maiden » Mon Mar 13, 2017 6:21 pm

#Replies
Disclaimer!!!! Please Read! http://media.transgenderzone.com/?page_id=2

"Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world. For, indeed, that's all who ever have." M.Mead

Man [...] must count no one but himself; that he is alone, abandoned on earth in the midst of his infinite responsibilities, without help, with no other aim than the one he sets himself, with no other destiny than the one he forges for himself on this earth." - J.P.Sartre.

Who am I?
viewtopic.php?f=44&t=30