A bit of Advice About Privacy

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Jane_D_C
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Re: A bit of Advice About Privacy

Postby Jane_D_C » Tue Aug 02, 2011 8:07 pm

Maybe it's an idea to make this a sticky post?


Excellent idea. Jane x.
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Ice Maiden
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Re: A bit of Advice About Privacy

Postby Ice Maiden » Tue Aug 02, 2011 9:36 pm

No man is an island no tran is either - there is always someone who will know - and the rest probably guess but are too polite to say anything to transpeople.

No trans is an island - doctors know receptionists know employers may know friends know partners know and they may break up and then go blabbing to others. In some cases trans maybe a 'dirty secret' they have to keep quiet because if they dont then it outs them too, a perfect example would be a partner who breaks up with you is unlikely to go blabbing because that 'incriminates' them guilty by association n all that.

Bottom line is there is nothing wrong or shameful about being trans and if people feel that then by the very nature of secrecy it can appear to be sordid to others as if even a transperson themselves are ashamed then it gives licence to courtesy stigma and discrimination, we cannot blame others who are ashamed of us if we are ashamed of ourselves after all.

Black pride fists in the air n all that be yourself and if the real life test does not out you then you pass very well but that said so did Caroline Cossey and April Ashley, I don't think it makes any difference. All Id say is trans are becoming more visible today and as a result less sensational. Trans are the last taboo until the next one comes along that is ;)P

I think privacy should be applied like any family applies it in that i dont know the private affairs on my neighbours and nor do i want to - i got enough problems of my own
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Jane_D_C
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Re: A bit of Advice About Privacy

Postby Jane_D_C » Wed Aug 03, 2011 7:39 am

Black pride fists in the air n all that


I do not think the 'pride' model used by blacks and gays is appropriate for transsexuals. Blacks and gays just want to be left in peace to lead their lives.

We need more than that. We need medical intervention and we need to get back on track in new roles for which the medical intervention is, let's face it, not all it might be. In any event, most of us can't afford top quality facial feminisation surgery or privately funded phalloplasty.

Another reason why the pride model does not work for transsexuals is that we don't want to be trans: we want to be women or men as appropriate, when society assigned us the opposite role.

The pride model may be appropriate for some people with gender identities which do not fit the male-female binary. I have no problem with that. And I put my money where my mouth is: I went on Pride marches last year and this year, which of course carries a significant risk of being seen by someone who knows me, or of getting my picture in the local paper.

That said, I think trans people are entitled to expect to attempt to live in stealth. Nobody said it’s easy. Their attempts should not be disparaged.

Jane

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E-mail: jane@transgenderzone.com

quackers
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Re: A bit of Advice About Privacy

Postby quackers » Wed Aug 03, 2011 8:50 am

To be honest, no one who knows gives two figs about me being trans. It's pretty obvious at the moment. Was in the pub last night - my team couldn't make it but I formed a new team with a couple in their 20's who had just moved here. Came up in conversation I was trans - they had guessed :-) They couldn't care less and that's been the reaction from everyone who knows.

Now - in the future - when hopefully I will pass easily, that's a different matter. People who know me from here will obviously know my history as will my family and friends. But then I don't particularly - well want is not the word, but don't need new people who I meet to know my history. if it comes up, it comes up. Will I "shout " about being trans? Probably not - is it because of embarassment - well no, but I still just want to be me.


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Re: A bit of Advice About Privacy

Postby Different_Trains » Wed Aug 03, 2011 9:26 am

I live in the same town now that I grew up in. I moved back here about 5 years ago. A lot of people know me here, even if I don't know them, due to my parents knowing people etc. Since I've stopped caring and just been out and about as myself, I've never had any hassle.

Whilst some wouldn't recognise me, I think the majority of people are probably just too nice to say anything. Works fine for me! It's not exactly a secret anymore that I am trans.



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