I HAVE read your whole post.
I closely identify with almost all of what you are feeling and suffering - it sounds exactly like me at 24 (Except I am poorer and was getting laid, but it was the early seventies then. At your age I married and was with her until my transition nearly thirty years later.)
I understand your uncertainty too. I was able to "forget about it" for a while, sometimes months and be content to be pretty much a normal male. But then the thoughts would return, sometimes with a power which was crushing in it's intensity. Like you, from what I read and understood I thought that transsexuals constantly felt "in the wrong body" and knew that this was so from an early age.
That is SO incorrect.
It is true for a percentage of transsexuals, but the majority experience is more like yours and it waxes and wanes. One thing I can assure you of is that it never goes away, so one day you will have to deal with it one way or the other.
- either you arrange your life to enable you to live as a woman part of the time and content yourself with that ...... or else you begin Transition.
For myself, I did not transition until my fifties when I reached a snapping-point and it all welled up in me so strongly that I was finally FORCED to confront it and deal with it. (You mention in your post that you have read of such crises)
From what you have written, it is my own belief
that the same crisis is eventually and inevitably coming to you ...... you just have not got there yet and it might be decades before you do.
When I did transition I felt a deep peace in my heart, a deep feeling of comfort and that I was finally able to relax - even though at that time I expected my future life to include a lot of rejection and persecution. I still had some inner doubts that I actually was transsexual even so. It seemed rather incredible to me that I actually was "one of those people" and that I was perhaps deluding myself in some way.
I began living in female role 24/7,saw my GP and got referred to Charing Cross GIC. When I eventually did my first evaluation interview there, I told the psych everything, even things which I thought were negative indicators. At the end of the interview he said that he had no doubts whatsoever that I was acutely gender dysphoric, that I WAS a transsexual and should start in the program immediately.
Your own thoughts, doubts and experience are far more typical than you realise. It is not my place to diagnose you and I have no qualification to do so, but from my personal experience, conversations with the trans-people I have known and the thousands of posts I have read in my years here as Mod, I am 99% sure that you are indeed transsexual.
You should join here as a member so that you have access to the Private Messaging system etc.
If you join, post half a dozen token replies to threads and I will Approve them so that you are a full member and have access to the PM system etc.
- if you like, I would be happy to Skype with you sometime? We would have to arrange that by PM. Speaking is a hundred times faster than typing.
(If you follow my Profile link and from there find my previous posts, somewhere I have talked a lot about my thoughts and feelings as I went along.
You might also click on the Who I Am link in my signature. Somewhere recently, I also posted my picture(s) - follow links from here viewtopic.php?f=45&t=5253&p=44942#p44942