I hope that you manage to strike a balance that works.
There are countless thousands of men in a similar situation to you as you no doubt realise from t'internet.
I have no idea of your location but often there is a trans-group locally where you can meet others - some will be living in role either part or full time and others either dressing in total secrecy like yourself or else have an arrangement with a wife who "knows but doesn't want to know"
Such places almost always have changing facilities.
This is the one which I used to go to - http://www.manchesterconcord.org.uk/
In fact, many years ago I used to go to a group meeting I was referred to by The Beaumont Society which is the group which later morphed into Manchester Concord.
The Beaumont Society should be able to advise you of any trans-groups within reasonable traveling distance to yourself.